Year-end lists...

Before getting down to business, in case it’s Tuesday, December 30 or Wednesday, December 31 and in case you noticed and were wondering, that’s Venus hanging there with the moon tonight. Pretty cool.

So, the year-end list.

It strikes me that I only like to read the blurbs about movies or music or news stories or web memes or gadgets that I already know about. And it strikes me that the reason for that must be what makes year-end lists so popular. They give us all a chance to confirm our genius and taste.

Yeah, The National’s “Boxer” is on my ten-best list also!

And now that I’m blogging I also realize that top-10 year-end lists are a great way to fill column inches. Easy posts to meet a quota that only exists in my mind.

But truthfully, 2008 was a pretty tough year for me professionally and personally. Any year-end list that I make is going to be a “bottom-10” instead of a “top-10” exercise and that’s not what I need to do in order to set myself up for a new and better 2009.

This blog though, this has been one of my highlights. As a reformed band guy, it’s been a creative outlet that helped distract, excite and motivate me when I needed distraction, excitement and motivation. It helped to keep my mind sharp when it might have become dull – especially when weeks of unemployment stretched into months.

So my year-end list consists of my personal top-10 favorite posts at TMUOTF in no particular order. I completely and guiltlessly acknowledge how self-indulgent this is and refuse to ask for your forgiveness.

In August I posted Hot Buttered Memories about the death of Isaac Hayes which was the first real personal story that I shared. It’s one of my favorites.

Later in August we took a family vacation to Maine and the post Acorns tried to capture how much it means to me to create positive, meaningful and lasting memories for Littlefoil. It’s really what I live for.

Also in August, we went to the fair. It was awesome. You sir! You look like a strong young man… was a blast. Truth is, we took Littlefoil to the fair one afternoon and had a great time. The next day I went back by myself for more. Next year: more in-depth carnie stories!

In September, when they fired up the LHC, I did quite a lot of research to understand exactly what the stakes were and spent a lot of time trying to craft a post that was simple but accurate. It’s Large Hadron Collider day! made me feel like a real reporter.

About half way through September I began an experiment in serialized drama/reality blogging. (I know, I know…) But I have great fondness for this mess of posts because at least I was stretching out a bit instead of just sharing funny videos from YouTube. The drama began with Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean that someone isn’t following me… . The series continued with Spooked , I’m being followed… , It’s him. , Keep goin’ bro. and finally Over and Done. .

Another multiple-post entry had to do with the ice maker in our refrigerator. No hyperbole required in this story of one man’s quest. It began with For the love of ice… , and continued with The Iceman Cameth. And Then He Lefteth… and ended with The $730 Glass of Ice Water . And it's all true.

My final multiple-post entry in this list is my corporate greed/insanity series. Take an unemployed guy with a lot of time on his hands and mix with some of the craziest economic news ever and you get some righteous indignation beginning with They didn’t even jet-pool! , continuing with The Business of Honor and How about some perspective? and concluding with What tremendous balls! . Boy I was pissed. Still am really.

A fun story about my mom’s experience with Jane’s Addiction’s bass player makes the list also.

Although no one ever posted a comment, I was pretty happy with my post about California’s Proposition 8 .

Finally, Nan doing the Gettysburg Address . ‘Nuff said.

So it wasn’t all bad. But truthfully, 2009 can’t get here fast enough.

Thanks for checking in here and posting your thoughts. I get a lot out of doing this and I hope that you get a little out of reading it. Please stay in touch. Maybe tell a friend even.

Meanwhile, I hope that you all get your share of happiness and peace and rest and excitement and fun in 2009. Acorns too.

"The most exciting woman in the world."

Now that the holiday's are behind us, you've probably heard Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby" for the last time this year.

But give it one more listen before you put it back in the attic. Eartha Kitt died today. She was 81.

Orson Welles called her "the most exciting woman in the world" and in a career that spanned six decades she earned Tony and Grammy awards as well as the ire of the FBI and CIA.

At a White House luncheon hosted by Lady Bird Johnson, Kitt spoke in front of about 50 women and said "You send the best of this country off to be shot and maimed...They rebel in the street. They don't want to go to school because they're going to be snatched off from their mothers to be shot in Vietnam."

For the next four years she performed almost exclusively in Europe. Twenty years later in an interview in Essence Magazine she said "The thing that hurts, that became anger, was when I realized that if you tell the truth — in a country that says you're entitled to tell the truth — you get your face slapped and you get put out of work."

That chapter was put behind her after she accepted another White House invitation, this one from Jimmy Carter after her Tony Award nominated performance in "Timbuktu!"

Her first album came out in 1954 and she performed in movies, on stage and on television right through the new millennium.

And of course, she took a turn as Catwoman on the TV series "Batman" in 1967-68.

The self-proclaimed "little urchin cotton-picker from the South" died from colon cancer.

Wonder.

The Christmas Tree cluster is a colorful collection of stars about 2,600 light-years from Earth in the constellation of Monoceros, the unicorn.

The cluster was first discovered in the 18th century but was captured anew in this stunning image by by the 2.2-meter Max Planck Society/ESO telescope at La Silla observatory in the Atacama Desert. The telescope was outfitted with a specialized astronomical camera called the Wide Field Imager and a series of filters, and then aimed at the cluster for 10 hours to get the full-color image above.

The swirling gas clouds appear red because of ultraviolet light emanating from the young, hot stars that look like blue ornaments on a Christmas tree. The triangular feature near the bottom of the photo is an area of gas called the Cone Nebula.

The brightest star, at the top of the image, can be seen by the naked eye. The furry texture of the light to its right earned that area the name Fox Fur Nebula.

Sleep well everyone.

Nan's Gettysburg Address

Littlefoil's great-grandmother turned 91 this month. She is a lifelong Mainer who is as comfortable chopping fire wood as she is baking pies.

She can clean a fish, handle a rifle and drive a snowmobile. When it comes to cribbage, she takes no prisoners.

When she was eleven years old, she memorized The Gettysburg Address. That was 80 years ago and last night she recited it for us. (Apologies for the low volume...you might want to turn your system volume up for the full effect...)



Awesome.

We even have a funny out-take to share!

Not nearly a foot...

It has officially stopped snowing. 10:37pm and we didn't quite reach the 8-12" forecasted.

More like 6-7".

After all of the hype, it's almost disappointing until you step outside and hear the quiet. The wind is picking up and it's not too cold so the snow is drifting and smooth like a heavy blanket. It's so nice...



There will be some shoveling to do in the morning but nothing to keep us from my father's birthday party.




That's our car under there...with the wipers still upright and locked! Should be a pretty easy morning all things considered.

More snow is due over the weekend. And the forecast calls for in-laws as well! We'll have a full house with plenty of strong backs to handle whatever nature throws at us!

Blowy Snowy

And so it begins...

Part of the fun of snowstorms at our house is watching cars slip and slide up and down the hill…

Please place your tray tables in the "upright and locked" position...

That's us at the red arrow...right in the 8"-12" range.



No snow yet as of 1:32pm but as you can see, our windshield wipers are in the "upright and locked" position.

Bring it!

Battening down the hatches...

We're expecting the first major storm of the season today. Snow is forecasted to start late this morning and before the night is over we may have as much as a foot on the ground.

Of course the local TV stations have gone apoplectic and have initiated "Storm Watch Coverage." Thankfully, Channel 7 has opened the "News 7 Critical Weather Action Center."

In response to the hysteria, many schools have already cancelled classes or moved to half-day schedules. The mayor and governor have ordered all "non-essential" employees to stay home.

In this economy, I'm not sure that I would be comfortable if I were considered "non-essential."

I joined the rest of my community at the grocery store last night so the Foil family is stocked with food. I may have also stopped at the liquor store for provisions.

Assuming that we maintain power throughout this "crisis", I hope to post a picture or two throughout the day.

Wish us luck and stay warm everybody!

Behind The Music: Peace on Earth / Little Drummer Boy

I don’t mean to be a curmudgeon, but if I never hear “Jingle Bell Rock”, “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” or the Chipmunk’s Christmas song ever again it will be too soon.

And let me also say that Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmas Time” is an annual reminder of the former Beatle at his absolute “Another Day” worst.

I’m good for one – just one - annual listen of Springsteen doing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” but I’m ashamed to admit it.

What I’m not embarrassed about is my fondness for David Bowie and Bing Crosby’s duet “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy.”



And it turns out that there is pretty good story behind the song…

In September, 1977, Bowie was invited to perform on Bing Crosby’s “Merrie Olde Christmas” TV special. The producers agreed to air the video for Bowie’s newly released single “Heroes” and Bowie joined Twiggy and “Oliver” star Ron Moody as guests on the program.

The original plan called for Bowie to sing “The Little Drummer Boy” but he apparently refused saying “I hate this song. Is there anything else I can sing?”

With just hours before they were due to go before the cameras, Ian Fraser, Buz Kohan and Larry Grossman wrote the “Peace on Earth” counterpoint lyrics and melody that Bowie sings and hammered out an arrangement in just 75 minutes.

Bowie and Crosby rehearsed for “less than an hour” and nailed the take complete with a little sketch at the beginning highlighting the generational differences – and similarities - between the two performers.

No one expected anything much from the number although it did circulate as a bootleg for several years. Finally, in 1982, RCA released it as a single and that’s why you can now hear is seventeen times each day during the holidays.

(Thanks to the Washington Post for details and background .)

Of course, being parodied is the real arbiter of cultural currency these days and Stephen Colbert and Willie Nelson have done the honors with the song “The Greatest Gift” from the DVD “A Colbert Christmas.”

Merry and Happy

Getting wholesome at the Foil house!

Christmas Lights

I don't know. We got the tree up tonight and strung some lights and there was wine...

Music videos…or rather, some videos about music…

In the last several weeks, I’ve been posting some pretty negative stuff, mainly dealing with Proposition 8 in California , my bout with pneumonia , the economy, my own unemployment, federal bailouts and business ethics. (See here , here , here and here .)

I’ve sprinkled in some happier moments about wild turkeys in our yard and the first snowfall of the season , but admittedly it has been a bit gloomy around here.

My personal situation has certainly been at the bottom of some of the negativity but I must say, the shit about the economy isn’t all in my mind. It’s easy to get bitter when the newspaper comes each morning with more outrageously bad news. Thanks to Mr. Blagojevich for this morning’s dose. Jerk.

But my personal situation might be changing for the better before too long and so you might find the happier Tim on this page as the next few weeks pass.

Besides, it’s kind of tiring to be so bitchy. Those tirades have a way of taking it out of you for the rest of the day.

And so today I want to just give you a couple of interesting videos to watch. One of them is kind of cool and historical and the other one is positive, upbeat and even inspiring.

So chin up. I’ll work on being a bit more positive and we’ll just see what happens.

This first video comes from Current.com and kind of ties in to my note about the 28th anniversary of John Lennon’s death . I’ll let the copy from Current’s page do the explaining…

In 1969, a 14-year-old Beatle fanatic named Jerry Levitan, armed with a
reel-to-reel tape deck, snuck into John Lennon's hotel room in Toronto and
convinced John to do an interview. This was in the midst of Lennon's "bed-in"
phase, during which John and Yoko were staying in hotel beds in an effort to
promote peace. 38 years later, Jerry has produced a film about it. Using the
original interview recording as the soundtrack, director Josh Raskin has woven a
visual narrative which tenderly romances Lennon's every word in a cascading
flood of multipronged animation. Raskin marries traditional pen sketches by
James Braithwaite with digital illustration by Alex Kurina, resulting in a
spell-binding vessel for Lennon's boundless wit, and timeless message.

The next video was brought to my attention by my friend Molly from the blog A Little House In The Clouds .

It features Benjamin Zander, known as a leading interpreter of Mahler and Beethoven, giving a talk at the Ted Conference this past February.

Zander is energetic and charismatic with a passion for teaching people about classical music and this talk explains why. (This clip is about 20 minutes long. But then I wouldn't have posted it here if I didn't think that it was worth your time would I?)

What tremendous balls!

Monday’s Wall Street Journal reported that Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain was fighting for an additional $10 million bonus for his performance in 2008.

Must have been a pretty good year for Merrill Lynch! Let’s see, total loss of $11.7 billion, stock price lost 73% of its value, narrowly averted bankruptcy and hastily arranged purchase by Bank of America. (Numbers courtesy of Business Week .)

But, argues Thain, things would have been much worse without his leadership. He was, after all, the guy who phoned Bank of America after Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy. Called them that very day in fact…hey, you guys want to buy an investment house?


Merrill Lynch CEO and piece of shit John Thain with Minnie Mouse

By the way, here’s a quick look at Thain’s 2008 compensation as provided by Merrill Lynch in March, 2008. (Numbers provided by CompanyPay.com .)

Salary: $57,692
Bonus: $15,000,000
Restricted Stock Awards: $902,966
All other compensation: $4,449
Option Awards: $1,342,503
Total Compensation: $17,307,610

And Thain has the nerve to argue for another $10 million! Shall I say it again? The company lost $11.7 billion!!!!

And the thing is, this isn’t just another insanely over-compensated CEO with a god-complex whose leadership led to more than $11 billion in losses. Those kinds of assholes are, sadly, a dime-a-dozen. (See here and here .)

What’s really galling about this is that Merrill Lynch has so far accepted $10 billion of US taxpayer money in the banking bailout. (numbers courtesy of CNN .)

And this money grubbing shit-stain, John Thain, is trying to get his filthy, snotty hands on as much of it as he can.

That’s your money my friends. And your kid’s money and your grandkid’s money and this gated-community, private jet, restricted country club asshole is ripping you off.

Want to get angrier? Bank of America has accepted 15 billion of our dollars in the bailout. And since Bank of America is buying out Merrill Lynch, that means that the company that took a grand total of 25 billion of our dollars is considering giving 10 million of them to John Thain!

At what point do we gather the villagers and march to his mansion with torches and pitchforks, rend him limb from limb and burn his riding stables to the fucking ground?

This morning, the furor has died down a bit as the Merrill Lynch compensation committee announced that Thain and other executives will be receiving no bonus “at their request.”

That means that the storm of angry reaction was so severe that they had no choice but to back down. I’d still rather see one of his vacation homes burned to the ground but this will have to do for now.

But make no mistake. This is what these people are about. They will get away with whatever they can. They will fuck you, me and the generations that follow us without even thinking twice if it means another piece of art to hang in the mansion or another Hummer in the 10 car garage.

And we’re just handing over our ATM passwords...

One more note on the auto industry bail-out…

It appears now that the big-3 auto-makers are going to get about $15 billion in loan guarantees and bailout dollars. The three CEO’s have also announced that they will all be taking salaries of $1, a gesture showing their sincerity, integrity and patriotism.

But let me just point out what it means to take a $1 salary. Allow me to re-print John Thain’s compensation package from above:

Salary: $57,692
Bonus: $15,000,000
Restricted Stock Awards: $902,966
All other compensation: $4,449
Option Awards: $1,342,503
Total Compensation: $17,307,610

His salary ($57,692) amounts to just one third of one percent of his total compensation.

So don’t be fooled into thinking that these are stand-up guys who are rolling up their sleeves and brown-bagging lunch until this crisis has ended.

It’s all for show and you’re a sucker and an idiot if you don’t think that these guys aren't getting theirs in the end.

For example, are you aware of the fact that Ford CEO Alan Mulally lives in Seattle? Any idea where Ford is located? Detroit! That's a 2,331 mile commute. Each way!

And Ford provides him with a corporate jet to make that trip.

How do you feel about handing over $15 billion now?

Wake the fuck up everyone! Grab your pitchforks and let’s go! What more do you need to see?

John Lennon died 28 years ago today...

First snow of the season...

We woke up this morning and it was snowing! I love the first snowfall. It means that the season machine is working.

This is our best tree...a Japanese maple. First two months ago...



And then today...



This is as things should be.

How about some perspective?

In my November 24 rant about the CEO's of the big 3 auto-makers, I spent some time talking about unemployment figures and the frightening estimate that the nation might lose 350,000 jobs in the month of November alone.

Well, today's Boston Globe has the final figures. We actually lost 500,000 jobs in November - the most in single month since 1974.

And of course this news has prompted lawmakers to move to pass a rescue package/bail-out for the auto industry that now exceeds $34 billion.

That brings the total cost of federal bailouts to well over $4 trillion.

That's "trillion." With a "T".

That's 4,000,000,000,000.

How much is 4 trillion? Phil Plait from the blog Bad Astonomy offers these comparisons...

=4 trillion is roughly 600 times the number of human beings on earth right now.
=4 trillion is about 20 times the number of stars in the Milky Way galaxy.
=4 trillion is about how many days separate us now from the Big Bang.

So, 4 trillion is a lot.

In fact, at over $4 trillion, this bailout is going to cost more (in inflation adjusted dollars)than the Marshall Plan, the Louisiana Purchase, the moonshot, the Korean war, the Vietnam war, the Iraq war, the S&L crisis, the New Deal and NASA's all-time budget - combined!


(Click on the image to embiggen.Thanks to the Voltage Blog for the nifty pie charts.)

I don't know if we really need to do all this or not, but I do know, I know it in my bones, that you're getting screwed and I'm getting screwed and our kids are getting screwed and their kids are getting screwed...

My vast and powerful influence...

The influence of TMUOTF clearly extends much further than I thought.

Remember my post from November 11 about Proposition 8 and the biblical case for discrimination against homosexuals?

Marc Shaiman (connected with Will Ferrell and his website Funny or Die ) clearly read that post, was properly exorcised and wrote "Proposition 8: The Musical."

And a veritable "who's who" of Hollywood clamored to be connected with the project and, by extension, TMUOTF!

Among the leading lights in entertainment who I must now assume are regular readers - Jack Black, John C. Reilly, Neal Patrick Harris, Margaret Cho, Andy Richter and Maya Rudolph!

To each of these celebrities, excuse me, people, welcome. We are honored to have you join our humble community. I look forward to some lively conversation in the comments section!

And now, without further ado, I present for your viewing pleasure, "Proposition 8: The Musical!" (and yes, it's spelled "ado." I looked it up.)

There it is. Right there.

On Monday night I was coming out of the drugstore and noticed two “stars” dangling right close to the crescent moon. From somewhere in the back of my mind I recalled reading something about this…but I couldn’t quite “pull up the file.”

I did deduce that those weren’t stars at all because stars are fixed relative to each other and so wouldn’t one day just show up on the moon’s doorstep.

So they must be planets because planets move around in their orbits independent of the star field behind them.

Quick pat on the back for my overall cleverness and then onto my Treo to Google the answer…and…yes! Venus and Jupiter! Venus is the bright one and Jupiter is right next to it. Whoa. Biggest planet in the solar system and 390 million miles away! And there it is.

So I ran home. (you know, drove home…) and grabbed my camera and tripod and dashed to this little pond on Carolina Hill to grab a picture. Littlefoil and Jillfoil wouldn’t be home for another 30 minutes or so maybe I can get a couple of long exposure shots before dinner duty and the bed-time ritual.

It was nice and warm too…good night to be out.

And I get there and I get all set up in total dork mode – tripod, cable release, everything. And of course, my camera battery was dead. And the voice of the guy at the camera shop came back to me…”you should buy a second battery so one is always charged.” Please. Don’t try to sell a salesman. I’m too clever for such a clumsy up-sell.

Shit.

Back home. New plan. Charge the battery, get Littlefoil’s dinner going. Feed the boy. Bath. Skip the shampoo. Cup of milk. Bit of TV. Into bed where we read “Goodnight Maine” and then I’m off to get my picture.

Only now it’s raining. Clouds obscure everything.

Shit again.

So here is someone else’s picture of the event. SHIT!



It was cooler in real life. And fun to think about. I mean, Jupiter is 390 million miles away! That's so far. And there it is right there.

Think about this too...the little twinkle of light coming from Jupiter is just reflected sunlight. That means that the light I'm seeing left the sun, traveled about 484 million miles, bounced off Jupiter and then traveled 390 million more miles to reach my eyes.

What I'm seeing has traveled a grand total of about 874 million miles.

The speed of light is about 185,000 miles per second so that means that the light left the sun, travelled for about 44 minutes, bounced off Jupiter and then took another 35 minutes to reach me.

What a trip! And on truly cosmic scales, even that's a relatively short journey. Pluto is about 3.6 billion miles from the sun...meaning that sunlight reflecting off Pluto (not that the human eye can see it) would take over 13 days to reach us back here on earth. And Pluto is, of course, still in our solar system.

Other stars? The center of our galaxy? Other galaxies? Forget about it. Our brains evolved in a much smaller environment making these scales almost beyond comprehension.

For now, it's just kind of fun thinking about the 79 minute trip that little twinkle took just to reach me.

And there it is. Right there.

More good pictures from National Geographic...

National Geographic has just announced the results of their 2008 International Photography Contest. From over 100,000 submissions, here are some of the winners and honorable mentions. (Click on each image to embiggen...)


Photograph by
These shallow waters are mainly famous for flamingos at Nal Sarovar near Ahmedabad, Gujarat, India. The picture shows the reflection of clouds on water.




Photograph by Jose Hernandez
This is a shot of three eagles fighting over a fish in Homer, Alaska, from March 2008. You can see the fish at the top of the image flying by itself, but it was caught in its fall by another eagle.




Photograph by Lori McConnell
This photo was taken in Antigua, Guatemala. On each note is the message, "Te amo, Cristina."

There's lots more to see on their site .

Wild turkey...

I've posted before about how much I love where we live and in honor of Thanksgiving I want to share one more reason with you.



Wild turkeys! Along with coyotes and hawks and every manner of spider and insect, we have families of wild turkeys roaming the neighborhood.



These shots were taken in our yard...I mean, man, I love living here!

And I'll tell you something else, wild turkeys can fly! This contradicts my long held belief that turkeys were flightless birds - something I've believed since the Thanksgiving episode of "WKRP in Cincinnati" when the station staged a marketing stunt that went bad. They hired a helicopter to throw turkeys into the crowd for a Thanksgiving promotion but the turkeys couldn't fly and...well, see for yourself...news-man Les Nessman reporting live from the scene:



Happy Thanksgiving everyone. And don't always believe what you see on TV!

Business types call it "synergy"...

Money makes for strange bedfellows.

Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart aren't quite as different as they might first appear. Both have created industries around their names and personalities, they are marketing and selling machines, empire builders and both are savvy media manipulators.

Oh, and both have a prison record!

That's why when Snoop appeared on Martha's TV show, YouTubers around the world were disappointed that there weren't any cringe-inducing moments. As different as these two appear, they have everything in common.



By the way, Snoop mentions that one of the songs on his new album is called "Santa Claus, Go Straight To The Ghetto" but he doesn't give credit to James Brown who was the original artist. The song appears on "James Brown's Funky Christmas"



You can hear clips here . This is a must for your collection.

The Business of Honor

I got a little bit exorcised yesterday while writing about the $25 billion auto industry bailout . Got my freak on there.

Last night in bed the adrenaline was still flowing and I was feeling pretty triumphant about my shot across the bow of the barons of the auto industry.

And I was trying to recall something that I couldn't quite put my finger on...something about a similar situation when some executives lied to a congressional committee...

And this morning, with the help of Google, I remembered. In 1994, the House Subcommittee on Health and the Environment, chaired by Henry Waxman, held a hearing on the regulation of tobacco products.

Seven CEO's from the biggest companies in the tobacco industry were called to testify:

=William Campbell, CEO and President of Philip Morris U.S.A.
=James Johnston, Chairman and CEO of RJ Reynolds Tobacco
=Joseph Taddeo, President of U.S. Tobacco
=Laurence A. Tisch, Chairman and CEO of Lorillard Tobacco Company
=Edward Horrigan, Chairman and CEO of Liggett Group
=Thomas Sandefur, Chairman and CEO of Brown and Williamson Tobacco Company
=Donald Johnston, President and CEO of American Tobacco Company

Under oath, each of these guys was asked flat out: "Yes or no, do you believe nicotine is not addictive?"

And each and every one of these guys said something under oatch that they knew in the hearts to be untrue.



How do you face your kids after pulling something as dishonest and dishonorable as that?

They didn’t even jet-pool!

I have been on the job market for just over a month now and I’m here to tell you that it is an absolutely brutal time to be looking for work.

I’ve been to the big job boards and I can tell you that every job that’s posted is getting hundreds and often thousands of applicants. In fact, I was lucky enough to get a call-back from one employer and I asked him straight up, how many resumes he received for the job I was trying to get.

“Well over a thousand.”

And that’s for one position. Just a single opening.

Monster.com publishes a monthly analysis of online job demand based on a based on a large selection of corporate career Web sites and job boards called “The Monster Employment Index.”

For October 2008, the index dropped 10% marking the lowest level of online job availability since 2005.

And the problem extends to almost all industries in almost every location. In fact, Pittsburgh is the only major market showing an increase in online recruiting activity. Of the 24 industries tracked, only utilities, public administration and “mining and quarrying” showed any gains at all.

So fewer jobs than ever – except for miners and Wichita linemen.

Now get this: According to CNN, as of last Friday, the US economy lost 110,000 jobs so far in November – 60,000 last week alone! An economist at Wachovia predicted that we would lose a total of 350,000 jobs in the month of November. First time filings for unemployment insurance increased by half a million last week - the most since 1992.

More job seekers than ever and fewer jobs than ever.

You don’t have to be an economist at Wachovia to understand the brutal mathematics of that equation.

So it is in that mindset that I have been watching the news coverage of this $25 billion bailout for the auto industry. On one hand, adding everyone working in the auto industry to the growing ranks of the jobless is going to make this employment nightmare worse. And I don’t need any more competition for work.

On the other hand, those executives who testified before congress? Fuck those guys. Really, I can’t think of a way to squeeze enough vitriol into a paragraph to capture my repulsion at their smarmy, rotten fucking faces.

For one thing, this bit about them all flying private jets to Washington to testify? What a bunch of fucking arrogant fuckers. They’re crying poor-mouth and trying to take $25 billion (at least! Probably more!) from your kids and my kids and our grand-kids (because that’s how long it’s going to take to pay back this royal fuck-over) and they have the fucking nerve, the unmitigated gall to fly three different private jets from the same airport to Washington to ask for the handout?



Nice blind-spot you fucking fucks.

And do you know what else? Get a load of the money these assholes make. And don’t even begin to tell me that these compensation packages are needed to attract the very best talent available. Need I say it again? These guys need our $25billion Just to keep the doors open for a couple of months! They’ve presided over one fucking disaster after another! And been well compensated! Can you imagine the fucking nerve of these pieces of shit? (Compensation data from http://www.companypay.com/.)

G.R. Wagoner Jr., Chairman & CEO General Motors
2007 total compensation: $14,415,914
(Oh, and according to the Wall Street Journal, “Wagoner got “a 33% raise for 2008 and equity compensation of at least $1.68 million for his performance in 2007, a year for which the auto maker reported a loss of $38.7 billion.”)

Alan Mulally, President & CEO Ford Motor Company
2007 total compensation: $21,670,674

Robert Nardelli, CEO Chrysler
2007 total compensation: $????
(Oh, actually, we’re not really sure because Chrysler is a privately held company. It was reported that he took the job for a $1 annual salary but the way these things are structured, “salary” is just a portion of total compensation so that could be just for show while he rakes millions in stock options and other money deals.

What I can tell you is that he used to be the CEO of Home Depot. Ran it into the ground in fact. When the stock was floundering in 2006, he refused to take questions during a shareholder meeting about his compensation package and was eventually thrown out.

What was that compensation package at Home Depot? Well, according to Fortune magazine he made $38.1 million in 2006. After getting shit-canned in 2007 he got a $210 million golden parachute in cash and stock options that included a $20 million severance payment and retirement benefits of $32 million.

Yeah, he’s working for $1 per year now. WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, FUCKING STUPID?? )

And you know what else? American cars have sucked since I was a kid. These guys have had their asses kicked up and down the road for 40 years now. They've been beaten pulpy in green technology, the so-called "fit and finish" of American cars blows, they’ve pushed back and cried and bitched at every single mandated increase in fuel economy or cleanliness and they’ve made planned obsolescence an art form.

So fuck those three guys. Maybe we should pitch in to help the industry get on its feet and get competitive and prevent job hemorrhage or maybe we shouldn’t. I don’t know. But if any of those three pieces of shit see one lousy nickel then you and I are the suckers of the century.

Quick follow up to my post about astronaut Stephen Bowen...

A few days back I posted about Stephen Bowen who was two years ahead of me in high school and who is now a NASA Mission Specialist working on the International Space Station.

I just came across another cool picture of him working on the ISS during an EVA (that's astronaut talk for "space walk." It stands for "extra-vehicular activity"...) and thought that I would share it.

Thanks to Telegraph.co.uk for the image.

1976 was a VERY different time...

"Battle of the Network Stars" was a program on ABC that featured a decathlon-type competition between celebrities from the three major broadcast networks.

For the debut episode in 1976, the team captains were Telly Savalas, star of "Kojak" (CBS), Gabe Kaplan from "Welcome Back, Kotter" (ABC), and Robert Conrad, Pappy Boyington in "Baa Baa Black Sheep" (NBC).

Howard Cosell acts as the announcer when controversy breaks out over the results over a relay race in the clip below.

There is SO much here that reflects what a different world we live in today compared to 1976. The hair, the sweat-suits, the smoking, the cultural-stereotype jokes (by the way, that's Pat Harrington, Snyder from "One Day At A Time", who makes the "mick" joke)...unbelievable.



How about Bob Conrad?! Livid!! Turns out that the Kaplan upset over Conrad wasn't so much of an upset considering that Kaplan ran track in high school and that Conrad had to put out his cigarette to run the race.

(Tip of the cap to Bill Simmons, The Sports Guy , for posting about this gem!)

Louis CK speaking some truth...

A kid from my high school is on the International Space Station!

My good friend Kurt points out that I haven't made a single comment about the fact that astronaut Stephen Bowen, currently doing repairs on the International Space Station, is from my tiny home town.

He launched on the Space Shuttle Endeavor on Friday, November 14 and will be up there at least through Thanksgiving.

This guy was just two years ahead of me in high school and now he's 300 miles up...doing space walks and everything!


That's him! That's Stephen Bowen!

During one of the space walks, Bowen's partner, Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper lost a tool bag while working on a joint that positions the solar arrays. This clip shows the exact moment it happened...



I can't even believe that Stephen Bowen is up there doing that for real! I didn't really know him but it is technically possible that he saw my high school band "Back Alley" play. And while that probably wasn't as thrilling as the moment he walked into the vacuum of space for the first time, it feels kind of cool for me!

Good luck Mission Specialist Bowen!

Hey teachers! Here's a cool thing to do with your kids...

Now that the Mars rover Phoenix has succumbed to dust and bitter cold, it's time to look forward to the next rover mission: The Mars Science Laboratory.

"The Mars Science Laboratory"

(cue the crickets...)

Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue like "Spirit", "Endeavor", "Opportunity" or "Phoenix" does it?

The folks at NASA agree and have partnered with "Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures' movie WALL-E from Pixar Animation Studios" to create a contest to give the "Mars Science Laboratory" a cooler name.

The contest is open to student's 5-18 years old who attend a US school. Students must submit essays explaining why their suggested name for the rover should be chosen. The public will vote on finalists and the winner will be announced in April, 2009.

Disney is contributing prizes for winning essays including a trip to NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif., where the rover is under construction. The grand prize winner will have an opportunity to place a signature on the spacecraft and take part in the history of space exploration.

And take heart. These essays don't have to be philosophical masterpieces. NASA has sponsored these naming contests in the past and the last contest was won by the following:

I used to live in an Orphanage.
It was dark and cold and lonely.
At night, I looked up at the sparkly sky and felt better.
I dreamed I could fly there.
In America, I can make all my dreams come true.....
Thank-you for the "Spirit" and the "Opportunity"
— Sofi Collis, age 9

Official information about the contest can be found here here. (http://marsrovername.jpl.nasa.gov/)

Don't shout out requests at rock shows...

1001 rules for my unborn son is a blog that offers a daily dose of advice suitable for fathers to pass onto sons.

I am not in complete agreement with every single idea, but I look forward to sharing many with Littlefoil.

Herewith, a sample...


276. Surround yourself with smart people.

270. Stand up to bullies. You only have to do it once.


268. Watch your language at the ballgame.

248. There is never an excuse for stealing someone's cab.


245. Look people in the eye when you thank them. Especially waiters.

236. Don't panic.

234. Thank the bus driver.

231. Keep your passport current.

225. To execute a proper tackle, lower your shoulder, not your head, and remember to wrap up.


218. Help a friend move.

208. Don't salt your food until you've tasted it.

201. Order the local specialty.

194. Have a signature dish, even if it's your only one.


189. Learn to drive a stick shift.

173. Find yourself a good hideout.

161. The keys to throwing a good party are a working stereo, Christmas lights and plenty of ice.


129. Start a band.


46. When caught in a rip-tide, swim parallel to the beach.


36. If you absolutely have to fight, punch first and punch hard.


15. Don't flatten burgers on a grill, it squeezes out all the juices.

9. Stand up for the little guy.

5. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.

This is SO L.A....

Unrepentantly stolen from the BBC.

The Tim Foil Stimulus Package

In light of continued dire financial news as well as the slow-down in new material here at TMUOTF, it is my pleasure to announce that we will not be charging your accounts for content through December 31, 2008.

It is my fervent hope that you will take the savings provided here and inject them back into the economy where they might do some good.

For example, you might want to contribute to the Tim Foil Pneumonia Fund which raises money to pay for the “no generic alternative available” antibiotic that I am currently taking. Any left-over money will go towards the “no generic alternative available” cough syrup which I take every night. It doesn’t help too much with the coughing but the dreams, man, the dreams are incredible.

Or, you might want to make a contribution to the nice folks over at Wikipedia who provided me with this comforting list of famous people who have died from pneumonia:

Fred Astaire – Actor/Singer/Dancer
Jim Backus – Played Thurston Howell III and Mr. MaGoo
Christian Brando – Son of Marlon
Charles Bronson – Bad-Ass
Frank Gorshin – The Riddler
Jim Henson – Puppeteer
Stonewall Jackson – Confederate General
Bernie Mac – still-warm comedian
Charles Nelson Reilly – Match Game raconteur
Lawrence Welk – favorite of grandmothers everywhere
Billy Wilder – “Some Like It Hot” director

Sometimes there’s just too damn much information on the internet.

On Proposition 8

Aside from Obama’s historic and exciting win last week, the other big issue from the election is the fallout from the passage of Proposition 8 in California which calls for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages in the state.

In light of the massive funding provided by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, protesters have been picketing Mormon churches and calling for boycotts of the state of Utah whose population is 67% Mormon.

But put aside for a moment the issue of using tax-exempt church funds to discriminate against U.S. citizens.

Are there any non-religious reasons to ban same-sex marriages? Protecting the sanctity of the institution of marriage is an easily refuted argument. Protecting society from moral decay turns on religious conviction itself. In the run-up to last weeks election, it was argued by religious supporters of Proposition 8 that churches would be forced to marry same-sex couples, a dishonest claim in the first place and clearly a religious objection anyway. I have yet to hear a non-religious argument that is realistic and logical.

(If you can think of one, please post it in the comments section. I am always willing to change my mind in the face of good evidence.)

The only reason to ban same-sex marriage is religious conviction.

On November 4, Michael Shermer, in his post on Skepticblog explored the single biblical passage that forms the foundation of the religious case against homosexuality and also illuminated several other prohibitions of behavioral “abominations.” (All biblical passages cited within are from the Revised Standard Version.)

The crucial passage regarding homosexuality is Leviticus 18:22: “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.”

If you’re going to be using the bible to establish what is right and just and what the law of the land will be, that’s pretty clear. Shermer points out however that “tucked into in Leviticus and Deuteronomy are several other passages that we rightly ignore as pre-civil rights, pre-enlightenment and pre-scientific medieval thinking.” For example:

Deuteronomy 22:5: “A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.”

Wear a suit and be an abomination.

Deuteronomy 21:18–21: “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son, who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they chastise him, will not give heed to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones; so you shall purge the evil from your midst; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.”

Get lippy with your parents? Death penalty.

Deuteronomy 22:13–21: “If any man takes a wife, and goes in to her, and then spurns her, and charges her with shameful conduct, and brings an evil name upon her, saying, ‘I took this woman, and when I came near her, I did not find in her the tokens of virginity,’ then the father of the young woman and her mother shall take and bring out the tokens of her virginity to the elders of the city in the gate.”

This means that in the event that a guy gets married, has sex with his new wife and claims that she is not a virgin, then the wife’s mother and father should present to the elders of the city proof of her virginity – the hymen and the blood on the sheet from her sexual encounter with her husband. If the father and mother are able to provide this proof, then they

“…shall spread the garment before the elders of the city. Then the elders of that city shall take the man [the husband] and whip him; and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver, and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought an evil name upon a virgin of Israel; and she shall be his wife.”

But if the father and mother can not offer the elders of the city proof of their daughter’s virginity…

“But if the thing is true, that the tokens of virginity were not found in the young woman, then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has wrought folly in Israel by playing the harlot in her father’s house; so you shall purge the evil from the midst of you.”

There are many more examples throughout the bible including Exodus 21, which outlines the rules for the proper handling of slaves. Of course, not every ethical concept in the bible is quite so antiquated and violent – “Thou shalt not kill” seems like a good guideline - but the question becomes which dictates to adhere to? Which ones to incorporate into the law of our land? Which ones to use to deny freedom and rights to others?

Clearly, we ignore many rules laid out in the bible. We no longer endorse slavery, or the death penalty for disobedient children, non-virginal women, and adulterers. So why the obsession with Leviticus 18:22?

Ultimately, no one should be required to hold anything sacred. I am not required to hold sacred the idea that Muhammad is God’s messenger. I am not beholden to maintain a kosher diet or keep holy the Sabbath.

You are free to hold the Lord’s name sacred and not to take it in vain. But god damn it, I am not required to do the same.

Proposition 8 however, requires all Californian’s to hold sacred this biblical tenet – that homosexuality is an abomination.

And so Californians have agreed to live under biblical law and deny civil rights and liberties to a minority. Way to go California, way to go.

Please accept this drawing of a spider as payment...

I can not vouch for the authenticity of this email exchange (which I have unrepentantly stolen from http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html#) but I can vouch for its entertainment value.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,

Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.




From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,

Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,

You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached




From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane,

Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,

Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thank you for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.




From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,

As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

Real quick...a gorgeous picture of The Golden Gate Bridge

Unrepentantly stolen from National Geographic's Traveler Magazine. (Click to embiggen.)

Chaaaaang! It’s been a hard days night…

The opening chord of The Beatles' "Hard Days Night" is one of the most famous in rock and roll and as it turns out, it’s a total mysery.

Bedroom musicians have been trying to figure it out for 40 years. Dominic Pedler, author of the “The Songwriting Secrets of the Beatles” summarizes 21 different interpretations of the chord – just a small selection of the guesses that he found doing his research.

One of those guesses, G7sus4, known as the “buskers choice” was discredited by George Harrison himself in 2001. Harrison, in a 2001 online chat said that he played “an F with a G on top” on his 12 string Rickenbacker 360/12.

But if you grab your 12 string and give it a try you’ll hear that it’s not quite right. Not quite complete.

It’s missing the faint sound of the ride cymbal and the snare drum that Ringo added, the D note that McCartney added on his Hofner bass and the c5 that Lennon was playing on his six string.

But get your friends together with vintage instruments and try to recreate it and it’s still not quite right.

Enter Jason Brown, a mathematician from Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.


Brown with his Ibanez guitar - which was NOT used on the original recording.

Brown applied a a mathematical calculation known as Fourier transform to solve the riddle. The process allowed him to break the sound into distinct frequencies using computer software to find out exactly which notes were on the record.

Using this technique he identified an additional chord, played on the piano by producer George Martin that included an F note – a note impossible to play in combination with all of the other notes being played by the guitar.

So the mystery is solved. That classic single pulse of sound was accomplished like this:

George Harrison was playing the following notes on his 12 string guitar: a2, a3, d3, d4, g3, g4, c4, and another c4; Paul McCartney played a d3 on his bass; producer George Martin was playing d3, f3, d5, g5, and e6 on the piano, while Lennon played a loud c5 on his six-string guitar.

A PDF detailing Brown’s work can be found here .

Part III of Hardcore History's "Punic Nightmares" has been posted...

Just in case you took me up on my recommendation of the Hardcore History podcast and, in particular, the series titled "Punic Nightmares", I wanted to let you know that Part III is now posted and available for download.

I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet but I'm really excited about finding the time.

This line links to my original post on the subject.

This line links to my post about having second thoughts about my recommendation but then deciding to stand behind it anyway.

This line links to the Hardcore History website.

This line links to the Punic Nightmares podcasts. Just scroll down and you'll see all three parts.