Monday, November 17, 2008

The Tim Foil Stimulus Package

In light of continued dire financial news as well as the slow-down in new material here at TMUOTF, it is my pleasure to announce that we will not be charging your accounts for content through December 31, 2008.

It is my fervent hope that you will take the savings provided here and inject them back into the economy where they might do some good.

For example, you might want to contribute to the Tim Foil Pneumonia Fund which raises money to pay for the “no generic alternative available” antibiotic that I am currently taking. Any left-over money will go towards the “no generic alternative available” cough syrup which I take every night. It doesn’t help too much with the coughing but the dreams, man, the dreams are incredible.

Or, you might want to make a contribution to the nice folks over at Wikipedia who provided me with this comforting list of famous people who have died from pneumonia:

Fred Astaire – Actor/Singer/Dancer
Jim Backus – Played Thurston Howell III and Mr. MaGoo
Christian Brando – Son of Marlon
Charles Bronson – Bad-Ass
Frank Gorshin – The Riddler
Jim Henson – Puppeteer
Stonewall Jackson – Confederate General
Bernie Mac – still-warm comedian
Charles Nelson Reilly – Match Game raconteur
Lawrence Welk – favorite of grandmothers everywhere
Billy Wilder – “Some Like It Hot” director

Sometimes there’s just too damn much information on the internet.

No comments: