Monday, September 8, 2008

The best catalog ever...

When the mail came on Friday I didn’t even look at it. Bills, crap, magazine, catalogs. Just threw it a pile and moved on.

On Sunday, in that very pile, I discovered something wonderful. It’s the 2008 Holiday Gift Preview catalog from Entertainment Earth. It has a big warning on the front that reads “For Mature Readers Only.”

As a mature reader myself, I was intrigued. The cover featured statues of Freddie Mercury, Bettie Page, Joey Ramone, Scott Ian from Anthrax and even an “Alfred Hitchcock The Birds” Barbie Doll.

Inside were all kinds of collectibles – mostly statues and action figures but also animation cells, games, lunchboxes and other memorabilia. There were lots of music figurines and lots of movie stuff as well. Star Wars and Star Trek were particularly well represented but there were lots of surprises too.

Herewith, some of the best - including photos and actual copy from the website!

Keith Emerson Rock Iconz of ELP Statue

  • Fans of Keith Emerson and ELP, rejoice!
  • A true rock icon, authentically portrayed!
  • 12-inches tall, in painstaking detail.

Combining unearthly sounds with classical influences, Keith Emerson of Emerson, Lake & Palmer (ELP) carved out his standing as a true rock icon. Emerson is authentically portrayed with his signature keyboard in this astounding sculpture. The superlative 1:9 scale Keith Emerson Statue is created in painstaking detail by artists who have hand painted and hand numbered this collectible. Standing just under 12-inches tall, it's a polyresin limited edition of only 3,000 pieces, worldwide. If Keith's your man, you simply must have one of these! $148.99

(Note from Tim: This is the best. I had a very serious “Brain Salad Surgery” era fixation on ELP. I know all the words to Karn Evil 9 by heart. Really. And if I’m not mistaken, “Karn Evil 9” in its entirety took up the last track on side one and ALL of side two. And oh, by the way, I just checked Wikipedia real quick to see if I was right and I was. Subsequent releases put the whole thing on one side but I had the first pressing baby! That’s right kid. Got to have my ELP! And for even more fun, get this, the song consists of three movements, or "Impressions," with the First Impression divided into two parts:

First Impression, Part 1 (0:00 to 8:41)
First Impression, Part 2 (8:42 to 13:22)
Second Impression (13:23 to 20:30)
Third Impression (20:31 to 29:37)

C’mon, was it REALLY necessary to break the First Impression into two parts? The lesson here: punk was inevitable.)

Alfred Hitchcock The Birds Barbie Doll

This Barbie is for The Birds! Actually, this Barbie from The Birds is for you! Celebrating Alfred Hitchcock's classic film, this incredible collector's doll features our heroine being attacked by a trio of fine feathered foes, just like in the movie. Will these plastic birds damage her delightful handbag or her carefully styled hair? We certainly hope not! Be sure to let Barbie into your home and pray that the birds don't come in with her! Stands about 11 1/2-inches tall. $44.99

Led Zeppelin Jimmy Page Rock Iconz Statue

This Jimmy Page Limited Edition Statue features the legendary Led Zeppelin guitarist in his white "poppy suit" with the dragon and poppy embroidery sculpted in intricate detail. It seizes a moment in time from 1977 during the performance of "Dazed and Confused" with the bow held overhead. This 9-inch tall, fine-arts piece is a remarkably lifelike resin sculpture, and each collectible is individually hand painted and hand numbered. A limited edition of 3,000 pieces, it comes with a certificate of authenticity. "Get the Led out" and bring Jimmy Page to your house! $114.99

The Dude (Unemployed) 8-Inch Action Figure

Don't miss The Dude-- Unemployed! You'll flip for our Comic-Con Exclusive Action Figure of The Dude from The Big Lebowski. Dressed in his bathrobe and sandals, he stands 8-inches tall and comes with loads of hilarious accessories: sunglasses, robe, White Russian, milk carton, ID card, and genuine cloth rug! Achieve your desires by buying this character today!

Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski is a real laid-back kind of guy. He enjoys "bowling, driving, (and having) the occasional acid flashback." In the classic film The Big Lebowski, this humble pacifist and his bowling buddies become entangled in a web of embezzlement, supposed kidnapping, and White Russians.$24.99

(Note from Tim: I love how they specify that this is The Dude during his unemployed period...)

Star Wars Life Size Yoda Monument

He's actual size! And he's glorious! Standing tall and proud, this magnificent 37-inch tall x 55-inch wide mixed-media sculpture of Yoda features real hair, real cloth, and a light-up lightsaber that makes realistic sounds from the movie. Plug him in and enjoy the closest thing to a real live Jedi Master in your very own home or office. Watch your friends do a double take when they enter the room and find this fellow waiting for them. You just gotta have this one! Runs on AC power or 6 x "AA" batteries, included. $824.99

(Note from Tim: this one happens to be sold out - at $824.99!)

Star Wars Princess Leia as Jabba's Slave Statue

Have mercy, Leia! Seriously now, folks… could you ask for anything more? Who can forget Princess Leia-- adorned in a golden bikini-- captive of the disgusting but powerful Jabba the Hutt? Gentle Giant brings this memorable scene to life in a stunning and seductive piece, masterfully crafted in the exacting detail discerning collectors demand. Measuring 6 3/4-inches tall x 11-inches wide and made of polyresin, Leia comes with a certificate of authenticity. Limited edition of 5,500 pieces. Come and get her! $179.99

Ozzy Osbourne 3 ¼ inch Plate

The Ozzy Osbourne 3 1/4-inch Plate features the famous rocker in numerous poses that showcase various stages of his solo career. Black Sabbath's leading front man, Ozzy Osbourne has been captured in a stunning likeness on this porcelain plate. Down to his tattoos, these depictions of Ozzy by artist Michael Taylor are amazingly true to life. Too good to miss, order yours now! $19.99

(Note from Tim: Consider this on the merits of the art alone. This is right out of the notebook of some kid in junior high. I hope he got paid for it because the thing is out-of-stock!)

Freddie Mercury Rock Iconz Queen Statue

  • The fabulously flamboyant Freddie!
  • Exquisitely hand painted.
  • You're sure to love this!

This exciting statue of Freddie Mercury is officially licensed by Queen Productions. It features the fabulously flamboyant Freddie in a clearly identifiable frontman pose. A limited edition of 3,000 pieces, the exquisitely hand painted and numbered polyresin piece stands 9-inches tall and comes on a Queen-themed base with a certificate of authenticity. If you love Freddie or you love Queen, you're sure to love this! Stands 9-inches tall. $114.99

Dr. Laura 11-Inch Talking Action Figure

Homesick and missing mommy? Well, now you have Dr. Laura to preach, teach, and nag you instead! This Dr. Laura talking action figure stands 11-inches tall and says 23 different phrases when you press her button. She comes packaged in a display box that features her biography and photos from her personal collection. This Dr. Laura doll even has the stamp of approval from the real Dr. Laura herself! Batteries included. Phrases include:

  • "Proud mother of an American Soldier"
  • "Now, go and do the right thing."
  • "Argue with me. It makes me testy."
  • "Be the kind of person you'd like to come home to every day."
  • "This is the hill you want me to die on?"
  • "I am my kids mom."
  • And more.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is not only one of the most popular radio personalities in America, she is also a best selling author of 14 books, including 4 children's books. Best known for her no-nonsense approach to parenting and her unwavering commitment to children, Dr. Laura always believes everyone should "go do the right thing." $29.99

It's never too early to start dropping holiday hints!


Arkay said...

I would like to have one of Derek Smalls trapped in the pod during "Rock and Roll Creation"

molly said...

i can't decide, i can't decide... maybe life size yoda? no, barbie with the birds... no, damn!