This is SO L.A....

Unrepentantly stolen from the BBC.

The Tim Foil Stimulus Package

In light of continued dire financial news as well as the slow-down in new material here at TMUOTF, it is my pleasure to announce that we will not be charging your accounts for content through December 31, 2008.

It is my fervent hope that you will take the savings provided here and inject them back into the economy where they might do some good.

For example, you might want to contribute to the Tim Foil Pneumonia Fund which raises money to pay for the “no generic alternative available” antibiotic that I am currently taking. Any left-over money will go towards the “no generic alternative available” cough syrup which I take every night. It doesn’t help too much with the coughing but the dreams, man, the dreams are incredible.

Or, you might want to make a contribution to the nice folks over at Wikipedia who provided me with this comforting list of famous people who have died from pneumonia:

Fred Astaire – Actor/Singer/Dancer
Jim Backus – Played Thurston Howell III and Mr. MaGoo
Christian Brando – Son of Marlon
Charles Bronson – Bad-Ass
Frank Gorshin – The Riddler
Jim Henson – Puppeteer
Stonewall Jackson – Confederate General
Bernie Mac – still-warm comedian
Charles Nelson Reilly – Match Game raconteur
Lawrence Welk – favorite of grandmothers everywhere
Billy Wilder – “Some Like It Hot” director

Sometimes there’s just too damn much information on the internet.

On Proposition 8

Aside from Obama’s historic and exciting win last week, the other big issue from the election is the fallout from the passage of Proposition 8 in California which calls for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages in the state.

In light of the massive funding provided by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, protesters have been picketing Mormon churches and calling for boycotts of the state of Utah whose population is 67% Mormon.

But put aside for a moment the issue of using tax-exempt church funds to discriminate against U.S. citizens.

Are there any non-religious reasons to ban same-sex marriages? Protecting the sanctity of the institution of marriage is an easily refuted argument. Protecting society from moral decay turns on religious conviction itself. In the run-up to last weeks election, it was argued by religious supporters of Proposition 8 that churches would be forced to marry same-sex couples, a dishonest claim in the first place and clearly a religious objection anyway. I have yet to hear a non-religious argument that is realistic and logical.

(If you can think of one, please post it in the comments section. I am always willing to change my mind in the face of good evidence.)

The only reason to ban same-sex marriage is religious conviction.

On November 4, Michael Shermer, in his post on Skepticblog explored the single biblical passage that forms the foundation of the religious case against homosexuality and also illuminated several other prohibitions of behavioral “abominations.” (All biblical passages cited within are from the Revised Standard Version.)

The crucial passage regarding homosexuality is Leviticus 18:22: “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.”

If you’re going to be using the bible to establish what is right and just and what the law of the land will be, that’s pretty clear. Shermer points out however that “tucked into in Leviticus and Deuteronomy are several other passages that we rightly ignore as pre-civil rights, pre-enlightenment and pre-scientific medieval thinking.” For example:

Deuteronomy 22:5: “A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.”

Wear a suit and be an abomination.

Deuteronomy 21:18–21: “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son, who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they chastise him, will not give heed to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones; so you shall purge the evil from your midst; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.”

Get lippy with your parents? Death penalty.

Deuteronomy 22:13–21: “If any man takes a wife, and goes in to her, and then spurns her, and charges her with shameful conduct, and brings an evil name upon her, saying, ‘I took this woman, and when I came near her, I did not find in her the tokens of virginity,’ then the father of the young woman and her mother shall take and bring out the tokens of her virginity to the elders of the city in the gate.”

This means that in the event that a guy gets married, has sex with his new wife and claims that she is not a virgin, then the wife’s mother and father should present to the elders of the city proof of her virginity – the hymen and the blood on the sheet from her sexual encounter with her husband. If the father and mother are able to provide this proof, then they

“…shall spread the garment before the elders of the city. Then the elders of that city shall take the man [the husband] and whip him; and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver, and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought an evil name upon a virgin of Israel; and she shall be his wife.”

But if the father and mother can not offer the elders of the city proof of their daughter’s virginity…

“But if the thing is true, that the tokens of virginity were not found in the young woman, then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she has wrought folly in Israel by playing the harlot in her father’s house; so you shall purge the evil from the midst of you.”

There are many more examples throughout the bible including Exodus 21, which outlines the rules for the proper handling of slaves. Of course, not every ethical concept in the bible is quite so antiquated and violent – “Thou shalt not kill” seems like a good guideline - but the question becomes which dictates to adhere to? Which ones to incorporate into the law of our land? Which ones to use to deny freedom and rights to others?

Clearly, we ignore many rules laid out in the bible. We no longer endorse slavery, or the death penalty for disobedient children, non-virginal women, and adulterers. So why the obsession with Leviticus 18:22?

Ultimately, no one should be required to hold anything sacred. I am not required to hold sacred the idea that Muhammad is God’s messenger. I am not beholden to maintain a kosher diet or keep holy the Sabbath.

You are free to hold the Lord’s name sacred and not to take it in vain. But god damn it, I am not required to do the same.

Proposition 8 however, requires all Californian’s to hold sacred this biblical tenet – that homosexuality is an abomination.

And so Californians have agreed to live under biblical law and deny civil rights and liberties to a minority. Way to go California, way to go.

Please accept this drawing of a spider as payment...

I can not vouch for the authenticity of this email exchange (which I have unrepentantly stolen from http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html#) but I can vouch for its entertainment value.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,

Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.




From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,

Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,

You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached




From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane,

Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,

Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thank you for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.



From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.




From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David,

As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

Real quick...a gorgeous picture of The Golden Gate Bridge

Unrepentantly stolen from National Geographic's Traveler Magazine. (Click to embiggen.)

Chaaaaang! It’s been a hard days night…

The opening chord of The Beatles' "Hard Days Night" is one of the most famous in rock and roll and as it turns out, it’s a total mysery.

Bedroom musicians have been trying to figure it out for 40 years. Dominic Pedler, author of the “The Songwriting Secrets of the Beatles” summarizes 21 different interpretations of the chord – just a small selection of the guesses that he found doing his research.

One of those guesses, G7sus4, known as the “buskers choice” was discredited by George Harrison himself in 2001. Harrison, in a 2001 online chat said that he played “an F with a G on top” on his 12 string Rickenbacker 360/12.

But if you grab your 12 string and give it a try you’ll hear that it’s not quite right. Not quite complete.

It’s missing the faint sound of the ride cymbal and the snare drum that Ringo added, the D note that McCartney added on his Hofner bass and the c5 that Lennon was playing on his six string.

But get your friends together with vintage instruments and try to recreate it and it’s still not quite right.

Enter Jason Brown, a mathematician from Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.


Brown with his Ibanez guitar - which was NOT used on the original recording.

Brown applied a a mathematical calculation known as Fourier transform to solve the riddle. The process allowed him to break the sound into distinct frequencies using computer software to find out exactly which notes were on the record.

Using this technique he identified an additional chord, played on the piano by producer George Martin that included an F note – a note impossible to play in combination with all of the other notes being played by the guitar.

So the mystery is solved. That classic single pulse of sound was accomplished like this:

George Harrison was playing the following notes on his 12 string guitar: a2, a3, d3, d4, g3, g4, c4, and another c4; Paul McCartney played a d3 on his bass; producer George Martin was playing d3, f3, d5, g5, and e6 on the piano, while Lennon played a loud c5 on his six-string guitar.

A PDF detailing Brown’s work can be found here .

Part III of Hardcore History's "Punic Nightmares" has been posted...

Just in case you took me up on my recommendation of the Hardcore History podcast and, in particular, the series titled "Punic Nightmares", I wanted to let you know that Part III is now posted and available for download.

I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet but I'm really excited about finding the time.

This line links to my original post on the subject.

This line links to my post about having second thoughts about my recommendation but then deciding to stand behind it anyway.

This line links to the Hardcore History website.

This line links to the Punic Nightmares podcasts. Just scroll down and you'll see all three parts.